Day 12: Prayer

Ask him how you can pray for him. We are assuming that he is a believer. If he is not, try it anyway, unless he has told you not to bring up spiritual things. For instance, if he is burdened about something at work, ask, "How can I pray for you that God will honor your good efforts?" Or, "I know that your boss has not been showing you the respect that he should, how should I pray for you?" Think of something that has been troubling him. 


This is something Stephen and I actually do quite regularly...YEAH---something we are doing right! Ha! As of right now we are currently in deep prayer for his job search and perhaps some future family planning in the near future.  

Day 11: Aspirations

Ask him about his dreams & desires. Say, "Honey, if you could do anything, what would you dream of doing? More than anything else, what would energize you?" Let him joke about sex, but say, "Apart from that, what would you most love to do & why?" He may ask you why you are asking him this. Just tell him that you were just curious & you wanted to know. After all, these are the kinds of questions that you might ask someone when you are dating to get to know them better. Don't be afraid of this. By asking these questions you are not committing to help him experience this dream. This is just a fun discussion. He isn't going to act on it just because you brought it up. Since God is at work in all of us to will his good pleasure, your husband might share things with you deep from his spirit. It will honor him that you will listen. 


This is one thing that Stephen and I talk about A LOT! Stephen is still searching (has been for over a year now) for that perfect job. It's hard to see someone that you love and care for deeply come home everyday depressed from a job that runs him down. I'm not saying he deserves better, but he worked so hard through college and he shouldn't be stuck where he is right now. It's hard to keep the faith, but that's what we have to do. 


His biggest dream is to have a job that he can use his expertise (the reason he went to college) and help people become healthier but most of all....something he LOVES. He loves fitness and wellness. So that would be FABULOUS! He likes to travel and weekends and nights off would have to be a MUST. I'm so tired of being without him throughout the week. I know it's not a lot to ask---and I will continue to pray and keep the faith.  

Day 10: Apologize

Apologize. Think back over the last couple of days (or weeks) when you should have apologized for something. Say, "I was reflecting on something that I said the other day. I said that disrespectfully. What I said was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive me?" He may have been 90% to blame. This is not done to re-open the subject.  You are apologizing for YOUR disrespectful part. If he starts justifying himself just say, "Honey, You don't have to get into that. I am apologizing for acting disrepectfully. Will you forgive me?" When he says, "Yes," respectfully say, "Thank you," & go do something else. Walk away. Please do not use this as an occasion to rehash the conflict. The showing of respect during this two weeks is not done for the purpose of getting him to look at his failure to love. You are showing respect in obedience to God's Word.


This for some reason is hard for me to do. I am praying that God will help be get over this because I should be able to apologize when I do something wrong. I am getting better than when we first got married, but I often find myself holding grudges or not communicating out of anger due to lack of forgiveness. I'm pretty sure everyone could use some help with this.  

Day 9: Interested

Lesson #9

Ask his opinion on some issue related to his expertise or interests. Phillipians 2:4 says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." If he is a political junkie, ask a political question. If he is a sports enthusiast, ask a sports question. Ask a question in an area that interests him. You are also letting him know that you respect his insights. 

If you can get him to really get excited & you have several questions prepared, look out. He will be more than happy to talk about his interests with you. Go for it!

Day 8: Speak words of kindness

Lesson # 8

Relay a compliment about him. Reflect over the last few weeks. Did someone say something positive about him & honoring to you about your husband? Build him up (1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.") Say, "I forgot to tell you, but so and so said this about you....."

Day 7: Encouraging Words

Lesson #7

Leave a note for your husband that says, "Thank you for wanting to work hard for our family. Your desire & commitment makes me feel secure". Words are healing. Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." 

Hang in there. You are halfway through! Keep an open heart toward God. Let God act on your behalf in response to these plans. Proverbs 16:9 says, "The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps".

Day 6: The Act of Selflessness

Lesson #6


Think of something that your husband would enjoy doing this evening. Say, "I'd like to watch the football game with you, when is it on"? Or, "I know that you have been talking about cleaning out the garage, I'd like to help". Whatever it is that he would like to do that you may not normally be interested in. If he declines, that is fine. You sent a positive message. If he says ok & the game comes on at 8pm, be there & excited. Maybe even go the extra mile. If he loves the Tennessee Vols, go ahead and put on some of that good ole' orange and white! Get your shakers out & get into it & make it fun!

If while you are spending this time together he says, "You have really changed. What has gotten into you"? Just say, "Thank you. Tell me again about the quarterback. Didn't he just have a run in with the law recently"? Then change the subject. Pull him out on some topic related to the activity. Please do not enter into any relationship discussions or talk about any arguments or negative feelings that you are having. We want you to learn that you can energize your husband simply by being with him.